twoday posted:

I was arrested a few years ago for carrying a sword with me on the street. As the cops were confiscating my sword, they kept referring to it as a samurai sword, and I kept correcting them by saying it was a short sword or that it was similar to a ninja sword without a cross guard. Now, of course a ninja sword is highly dependent on having a good cross guard, so it was really just a short sword (27").
Doctor-Pebbles posted:
I was just wondering if a staff member could delete all of my previous posts? I think I could make a better impression with the fellow Goons.

I mean, I didn't do anything wrong before, but I think people might think of me differently if they re-read my previous posts. I want to have a fresh new start.. While I'm posting this thread, how much money does it cost to change your alias?

I'm interested in changing the hyphen into a period in my name. Thanks. :)
OgOggilby posted:
After Comcast basically abandoned support for my apartment's cable internet problems, I decided to switch to AT&T's DSL. AT&T activated it yesterday (Tuesday), so I'm ready to go except for one problem:

While I was away for the weekend, the landlord came over to pick up the modem Comcast provided. Instead of handing that over, my roommates gave her my Linksys wifi router. When I came back, I found out that the landlord had already given it to Comcast. Apparently, the Comcast rep that came over even mentioned it wasn't what they gave, but they insisted it was the right one. Neither my roommates or my landlord asked me about it, even though I set aside the the right cable modem for them to take. Well, I spoke to Comcast and they said they would look for it in the warehouse. They were supposed to call me back quickly, but they haven't yet.

What are my options to deal with this? I'm basically out of a $70 router that I paid for myself. The landlord and my roommates are completely apathetic about it, even though I'm the only one that's spending time trying to fix stuff. Can I get Comcast to replace it? I doubt I'll be able to coax the $70 out of my landlord or roommates to replace it.

Things are getting worse:

I was supposed to get a call back from Comcast on Thursday or Friday. They never called me. So, I called again yesterday. They said the rep was going to drop off the router on Friday and call me. I never got a call from him and he never showed up. Saturday, I call again and they tell me they'll call me again within 2-4 hours. They didn't.

My landlord doesn't really care and actually told me the whole "well, that's life" thing when I approached her on Thursday. Despite that it's partially her fault that my router is gone.

Should I just go ahead and buy another router? My landlord and roommate have basically made it clear they're not going to pay for a replacement. I exagerrated a bit and said I'm thinking of cancelling the AT&T DSL service for two months to pay for the replacement ($40/month, new router is $80). They didn't think it was a bad idea.

All I'm waiting for now is for AT&T's DSL modem to arrive (probably on Monday). I'll probably go ahead and buy the new router since Comcast is basically lying to me now. I finally got a priority designation at Comcast. The router will be returned to me ASAP now, at least by Friday. As for how I did this... I started crying on the line and going on about how I'll lose my job since I haven't been able to use the internet at home for a month. Also about how I can barely pay my rent and college expenses.

So, I lied, but that's what it took to finally get someone to fucking listen to me.
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.