Graf Oarlock posted:

sorry for the dual post (but his is helldump, so I feel like elbows on the table are probably allowed, as well), but damn, I had no idea trolling was a skill. It comes nach-urr-uhll ta meez! Yay! I have a skill that Menses-hair -- sorry, Bloodmane -- doesn't.

BTW, is that some sort of Adrienne Rich-meets-Mary Daly-and=Germaine Greer thing, "Lord Bloodmane?" It's almost as reprehensible as "Sage Moonblood Stallone" as a guy's name. "Sage Moonblood" is the 65-year-old nudist at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival who runs the Native American/Indian/First People's Spirit wigwam, and whose birth name is Susan Allegra Friedman. And Bloodmane, even Lord Bloodmane, is HER FREAKIN' HORSE! Not a human. Not male. Not even an effeminate, stereotypical homosexual (and you are a stereotypical homosexual, Lord Bm. You just happen to be mixing it with Stereotypical Theory-whore Pseudointellectual Discussor of Literature and Sociology and also with Stereotypical N-E-R-D. Sorry. But not really.).
PabloFeenix posted:
I take SomethingAwful very seriously. Particularly insults such as "faggot" and "shitposter." Especially if they take place in Helldump.

In attempts to find acceptance, Bike Tard has insulted my personal honor, integrity, and status as an accomplished triathlete/marathon runner. Further, he has failed to do so in an original, humorous manner. I will not tolerate such disrespect.

Bike Tard posted:
you never answered what's your PR for a sprint tri?

also, your post doesn't really make a lot of sense, but it sure does keep up with your grand tradition of sounding like an enormous faggot. keep on keepin' on, i guess. I openly challenge Bike Tard to ANY triathlon or run of his choosing. And I do so in an arena where physical fitness actually matters above all else. What say you, girly-man?
Captain Foxy posted:
Girl, if a strange-ish man ever laid his hands on me, I would've kicked his pathetic cherry-headed ass to ruin and felt utterly no remorse about it. I'm 5'2, 101lbs at the most, and definitely a sniveling little girl to a fault, but CHRIST stalkers just set something off in me.

While the posting is awesome and I give you a basketful of kudos for dealing nicely with this fucking fuck, I say the next time you see him, you either:

a) get the Poacher dude to flying tackle him into some concrete and then ever-so-efficiently snap his neck with a deft twist of his experienced hands
b) Tell him off. And I mean really tell him off. Full-on, bitchiest voice, sneer for added effect and phrases like 'crawl back up your mother's uterus you spineless piece of stalker scum' and the like. Every woman has the ability to make a man feel about as small as a flaccid micropenis, and if you do it right, he'll off himself and save you the trouble.

...of course that could totally backfire in the worst possible way and end up in him gutting you and storing your internal organs in his fridge. But that'll never happen!

The only way I ever found to be effective in prying off these parasites is being really harsh and flat-out ignoring them when they cross the line. But then, none of my stalker dudes ever got really creepy...just pathetic.
ironlung posted:
yes, my "burns" are weak and uninspired and you keep talking about my mother, so that makes you the fucking king of insults. guess what faggot, i don't give a shit about my BURNS or what FORREST thinks about them. and if you knew how to read you could comprehend that i don't think all tattoos are as bad as that "godawful panther." simply that goons have retarded tattoos, like the one you would have if you ever grew the balls to get one

oh and the only reason i care about that show is because i know someone who was on it. yes, i know someone who is talented and attractive enough to be on television, as opposed to you... your entire existence seems to be based on being "funny" in the helldump forum when every single one of your posts is a fucking abortion and tries so hard to be edgy and fit in, but is just evidence of how much of a stupid faggot you are. but keep trying to act hard that way everyone will keep ignoring your idiotic posts
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The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

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