Also, people claiming that all children would be working mining coal or working with hazardous machines are ignoring the fact that technology is moving our economy away from such types of work and allowing industries to be safer AND more productive. You can make $1000 a month uploading one minute product reviews to expo tv, so why would anyone choose to make $1000 a month mining coal instead? The answer is because some people prefer that kind of work and they should be free to do whatever work they want to do, but in this age there are a million ways to make a livable wage without doing anything that is dangerous OR requires a lot of skill, so to claim that without a minimum wage and child labor laws all the children would be doing incredibly hazardous jobs makes no sense.
Monday I started a new job at a software company, everyone there is relaxed and very friendly. Friday one of the co-founders was on a quest to locate a hacksaw. A... hacksaw? Why of course, a hacksaw to cut off the top of a plastic water jug from the water cooler. He digs through drawers near my desk asking loudly "Why can't I find a hacksaw around here? What's wrong with you guys, why don't we have a hacksaw?".
Things like this have been the norm around this new place that I'm quickly coming to love, so I think nothing of it. I giggle and go back to working.
As I'm picking up something off the printer, I hear at the other end of the office several guys calling my name. I look down the hall and I see an entire office of guys standing around and saying my name and calling me down to the office. So.. I go to investigate. As I get closer, I start to hear what they're saying "She's never done this before, we must get her to do this". My eyebrows raise and I continue walking forward.
When I get to the entrance of the co-founder's office, I see him sitting on the floor with a large water jug in front of him, kneeding a cloth. From the cloth is dripping brown liquid to go along with the other gallon or so already in the jug. All of the guys are standing around the office along the walls and there is a large gathering of cups on the desk, on the chairs, on the floor and in their hands.
Looking around at this surreal situation I'm then asked "Do you want to be part of our tribe?" I stammered "What?" It seemed like a normal enough question, but it threw me completely off guard. He then offered that I could even have a clean cup. I asked him what it was that cloudy brown liquid was, to which he replied... Kava.
I love my new job
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.