Chapter One - Where Do You Want to Fail Today?
With the recent booming economy, influx in job opportunities, and relax in legal definitions of "sweatshops", the workplace has never been so dynamic! Jobs await you at every nook, cranny, and swollen orifice of the slummy city you undoubtedly reside in. Here is a brief list of hot and new potential positions I compiled while waiting for the motorized bus yesterday:
As you can see, the list of opportunities out there is full of many plentiful and rewarding positions. Some of them even have dental insurance. Now that you've found a bland and menial position you'd like to fill, let's move on to Chapter Two and learn how to razzle and dazzle your potential boss at Bob's Wicker Hut with a resume so impressive he won't be able to resist letting you have sex with his wife and teenage daughters.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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