Chapter Three - Knock the Pants off that Ass! (page 3)
SLIGHTLY LESS WRONG
Now we're moving in the correct direction, but we still have far to go! Our subject has procured a pair of tennis shoes and has removed the various stains from his wardrobe, but the grasp of success is still very distant! Let's get this poor sod into shape and ready for "the big day"!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!