Chapter Three - Knock the Pants off that Ass! (page 3)
SLIGHTLY LESS WRONG
Now we're moving in the correct direction, but we still have far to go! Our subject has procured a pair of tennis shoes and has removed the various stains from his wardrobe, but the grasp of success is still very distant! Let's get this poor sod into shape and ready for "the big day"!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!