Chapter Three - Knock the Pants off that Ass! (page 4)
KIND OF CORRECT
Ah, finally! Our subject is very close to looking like a real "professional". Take note of the trendy, colorful suit that really draws attention from the gaping, sagging area in the groin region. A good idea to keep in the back of your mind while assembling an appropriate wardrobe is the of a "dressing theme". For example, Mr. Kyanka has chosen to apply a "linear" theme to his wardrobe, which accentuates horizontal and vertical lines. These soothing, predicable patterns create a positive response to all those that see it, undoubtedly exhuberating an aura of responsibility and confidence to the potential boss. However, there is still something wrong with this picture. Have you noticed it yet? In case you aren't as perceptive as I am, I will point it out to you: the subject is holding some kind of large marital aide in his right hand! This is what's referred to as a "no no", and creates a distinct "negative impression" to the employer. Let's see if we can fix this, shall we?
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!