Chapter Three - Knock the Pants off that Ass! (page 4)

KIND OF CORRECT

Ah, finally! Our subject is very close to looking like a real "professional". Take note of the trendy, colorful suit that really draws attention from the gaping, sagging area in the groin region. A good idea to keep in the back of your mind while assembling an appropriate wardrobe is the of a "dressing theme". For example, Mr. Kyanka has chosen to apply a "linear" theme to his wardrobe, which accentuates horizontal and vertical lines. These soothing, predicable patterns create a positive response to all those that see it, undoubtedly exhuberating an aura of responsibility and confidence to the potential boss. However, there is still something wrong with this picture. Have you noticed it yet? In case you aren't as perceptive as I am, I will point it out to you: the subject is holding some kind of large marital aide in his right hand! This is what's referred to as a "no no", and creates a distinct "negative impression" to the employer. Let's see if we can fix this, shall we?

Next page: The Correct Way!

More Guides

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.