Hi folks. We're finishing up spring cleaning this week here at Ye Olde AwfulVisione, and just like last week we've got like 6 pages of shit I was too lazy to use before now plus some new stuff that was pretty funny.
Some of this shit stretches back to October, so if I accidentally slip one in that I've done before, I'm sorry. I would have went back and checked to make sure I didn't use any of these but reading my own writing physically pains me so I guess enjoy some slightly different jokes in the case that one slips by me!
Here's a horrifying drag queen singing a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" entitled "Baby Got Front". Get it?! A dick! In the front! Because it's a drag queen! Also worth noting is that this video is in response to a video that may be even more impossibly shit called "Jackie Beat vs. Mariah Carey" and while I didn't watch it to confirm, I am going to go on record as assuming that the loser in the bout is all of mankind.
This little troll has a face only a mother could beat into a bloody paste with a brick.
Here's a video where you get to see some bitch's pussy. Don't say I never did anything for you guys!
As of the time I'm writing this, only 8 people have viewed this absolute masterpiece. I think it's time to change that.
I'm going to order like a dozen of these and use them to store my Wendy's Baconator coupons.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!