Hi folks. We're finishing up spring cleaning this week here at Ye Olde AwfulVisione, and just like last week we've got like 6 pages of shit I was too lazy to use before now plus some new stuff that was pretty funny.
Some of this shit stretches back to October, so if I accidentally slip one in that I've done before, I'm sorry. I would have went back and checked to make sure I didn't use any of these but reading my own writing physically pains me so I guess enjoy some slightly different jokes in the case that one slips by me!
Here's a horrifying drag queen singing a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" entitled "Baby Got Front". Get it?! A dick! In the front! Because it's a drag queen! Also worth noting is that this video is in response to a video that may be even more impossibly shit called "Jackie Beat vs. Mariah Carey" and while I didn't watch it to confirm, I am going to go on record as assuming that the loser in the bout is all of mankind.
This little troll has a face only a mother could beat into a bloody paste with a brick.
Here's a video where you get to see some bitch's pussy. Don't say I never did anything for you guys!
As of the time I'm writing this, only 8 people have viewed this absolute masterpiece. I think it's time to change that.
I'm going to order like a dozen of these and use them to store my Wendy's Baconator coupons.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!