Chapter Three - Knock the Pants off that Ass! (page 5)

VERY CORRECT

Huzzah and hooray! Mr. Kyanka is now looking "sharp as a thumbtack", and ready to nail that job like a cheap whore! Although you may not be able to discern it from the picture, our subject has even taken a bath! This brings up two very important points:

1) Personal hygiene is very important. Be sure to bathe regularly.

2) Bathe BEFORE dressing yourself.

I cannot stress how important that these two steps be followed in the order they were written. Nothing screams out "unprofessional" quite like a person wearing a wet, soapy mess of an outfit! Take some pride in how you look and remember to bathe BEFORE dressing! If you do not own a shower or bathtub, I would recommend using a neighbor's pool. If no pool is available, try breaking into a YMCA and using theirs. If there are no YMCA's near, go down to Wal Mart and rub those mushroom-shaped air fresheners all over your private areas. If they are out of air fresheners, invite your boss to interview you near a meat rendering factory.

Next page: The Big Interview!

More Guides

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.