Lowtax - NO MOTHER, I WILL COME TOMORROW OKAY? I AM BUSY TODAY
Brandon - Rich, you sent me a message that was for your mother again...
Lowtax - Oh shoot, sorrey, I screwed up!!!
Brandon - :) it's ok
Lowtax - So, do I buy your stocks and bonds then and wash the cash value go up?
Brandon - yes....you have the right idea. We guarantee 20% interest per year. We have bonds, not stocks. You can buy a 1, 2, or 5 year bond. http://www.cashewdeoro.com/tables.html that page tells you how much your bond will be worth after it is ready to be cashed in
Lowtax - Oh, that is a lot of moneys... what about the investing over $10,000? If they get more money, I'd like to put more than that in! Best value, yes?
Brandon - If you want to invest over $10,000 you can do that.....you can just buy more bonds. You could invest $100,000 if you wanted....
Lowtax - Oh, I don't have THAT much friend, just some moneys in "the bank" from a lawsuit I won against the "automobile industry", you know, lawsuit?
Brandon - :) I was just using $100,000 as an example. Yes I understand lawsuits. That's good that you won! That money doesn't do you much by sitting in the bank. You won't earn any interest on it. With us you can multiply your money quicly, and safely
Lowtax - Sounds very interseting, how does your company makes so much money from the selling of fruits and nuts? It is interesting, American business!
Brandon - well this actually isn't american business......we can make so much money because we are "offshore" Our company is in Costa Rica, Central America.
Lowtax - MOTHER, JUST RUB ON THE CREME, OKEY? IT WILL HEAL UP SOON IF YOU DO! LISTEN TO ME PLEASE, OKEY?
Lowtax - Oh, business laws are much lax there, yes? More "slack"?
Brandon - yes we are in a "tax free" location. We don't have to report any taxes on what we earn.
Lowtax - Oh, that is a smart business move then! Who does run this company?
Brandon - His name is Mans Meijer. I am very good friends with him. He lives in Costa Rica.
Lowtax - Does he have much business background? Sorrey about many questions, but I want to be sure before I invest moneys!
Brandon - don't worry about too many questions! That's why I am on ICQ lots....to answer people's questions. The more you ask, the happier I am Yes he has a lot of business background. I can arrange for him to call you on the phone if you want.....he speaks english.
Brandon - You sent this to me a little while ago.... "MOTHER, JUST RUB ON THE CREME, OKEY? IT WILL HEAL UP SOON IF YOU DO! LISTEN TO ME PLEASE, OKEY?"
Lowtax - Oh, sorrey, that was to go to mother again! I am apoloziging!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.