With this in mind, it really struck me by surprise that some idiot out there ICQed me, asking for help hacking somebody's computer. I assume some other smartass gave him my UIN, claiming I could aid him in his pursuit of wannabe l33tness. So I ended up giving him all the help I could by making up various bullshit computer terms, inside jokes, and bogus definitions that usually had something to do with this site. Good luck hacking, Pike.
PiKe - are you on? "because today you do not have n/a"
Lowtax - yes
PiKe - oh ok i heard you where a good hacker?
Lowtax - Oh yeah, I'm SUP4H L33T
PiKe - what does that mean?
Lowtax - It's secret haX0r code faG0t!!!
PiKe - ok well ive been told you can help me
Lowtax - Y3S, MY chILD?
PiKe - ya i need to know how do get into someones comp using their ip# and stuff and like get stuff or something
Lowtax - Do you use Service condition release pak 12-C or the alt. release?
PiKe - ya ummm what?
Lowtax - What operating system are you using?
PiKe - oh, windows 98
Lowtax - So what release client / host TCP protocol do you have installed?
Lowtax - What kind of hacking have you done in the past? I need to know so I can determine what skill level you're on.
PiKe - not realy ANYTHING i have lots of hacking programs but most of them don't work but i know what phreaking, hacking, cracking are ive read up a little
Lowtax - Have you done any work with the Pusherbot v2.1 client hack prog?
PiKe - nope
Lowtax - What about a basic Shoverbot? These programs force fake data packets through a false TMCPT server and reroute the service modules for outgoing packets which can screw up their net connection
PiKe - no like i said all ive done is read up a little and downloaded a few stuff
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.