Livestock: Moof I have an idea
Moof: okay go
Livestock: you know how on the stock market
Livestock: you can buy stocks in companies
Livestock: or gold or whatever
Livestock: well what if there was a market where you buy shares in breeds of dogs
Livestock: like you could buy shares of huskies in the summer at low prices, then sell them high come winter when they really shine
Moof: hmm that is a good idea
Moof: after christmas when all the unwanted pets are left to rot on the streets by uncaring children i could buy them cheap
Moof: and then sell them for a lot more next year before christmas as gifts for children
Livestock: yes well not the pets themselves but shares in that breed
Livestock: this isn't about physically buying pets, it's about buying stock in a breed
Moof: what other breeds change value in different seasons
Livestock: well obviously wiener dogs are better in the summer when you can show them off
Livestock: bomb dogs obviously increase in value around the time of terrorist attacks
Moof: yes i suppose
Livestock: well i mean i suppose it wouldn't hurt to own certain dogs physically
Livestock: that way the market is based on something... like a gold standard
Livestock: all the stocks can be backed up with actual dogs that way
Moof: that is a good idea
Livestock: okay well i think we've got ourselves a business venture
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.