From: [email protected]
Here is your Apology below,
I was appalled! I was mortified! How could the band SNAFU, which I had trusted and put my faith in, turn around and stab me in the back like this? Fortunately, I am a very kind and forgiving man, so I sent them the following email giving them another chance:
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: apology
Dear Mr. SLIPKN5417,
I have run your apology by Mr. Leonard Crabs, who instantly leaped to his feet and shouted, "Burn the infidels!" I don't think I need to say that this is indeed a "bad thing." Upon further discussion with Mr. Crabs, he explained how your apology lacked the sincerity that he originally desired. Fortunately, he gave explicit instructions regarding how to correct this. Please follow them exactly and we will consider dropping our lawsuit against you.
1) Replace the words, "FUCK YoU" with "Something Awful (especially Leonard Crabs) is the greatest."
2) Please add the phrase "has the combined IQ of Tupperware" at the end of "SnaFU Crew."
3) Take out the word "motherfucker" and include a recipe for a delicious chicken casserole.
4) Add the words, "Something Awful is the best site on the Internet, even better than http://velocity.net/~galen/index.html" to your webpage where your current rant about Elton John on the front page is.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me. I look forward to working with you.
-Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka
...and thus ends the correspondence so far. If any major events occur in the current "SNAFU vs. Something Awful" battle, I will post them as soon as I can, for the benefit of all mankind.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!