Cutting Costs with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: tom - might invest in a haircut tomorrow
Moof: hell yeah
Livestock: tom - seems to me hair is an untapped renewable resource
Moof: josh haircuts are not good investments
Moof: they are worthless after a few weeks
Livestock: absolutely
Livestock: might start cutting my own hair
Moof: good idea
Livestock: tom - business idea
Livestock: SelfCuts, a haircut business where you go in and cut your own hair
Moof: hmm
Moof: a great idea
Livestock: not sure how it will make money
Livestock: i guess maybe we will collect the hair and sell it
Moof: people will pay to use your scissors etc
Livestock: yes that is true tom
Livestock: a scissor rental fee
Moof: yes
Moof: also they will pay to have people make smalltalk to them
Moof: and to hold up the mirror to see the back at the end
Livestock: hmm
Livestock: i think maybe we will just automate the process
Livestock: like a carwash
Livestock: for your head
Moof: hmm
Moof: but with razors
Livestock: yes
Moof: instead of sponges
Livestock: there will probably still be sponges at the end
Moof: i dont know if we can budget that in
Livestock: tom also maybe a big blower to dry the person off
Livestock: on weekends it would be fun to maybe take the big blower out and point it at a dog
Moof: hehehehehe
Moof: that sounds like a lark
Moof: but no
Moof: that is not professional
Livestock: tom new business idea: wind tunnels for dogs
Moof: hmmm
Moof: no josh
Moof: gonna veto this one
Livestock: why
Moof: no profit in it
Moof: only bones
Moof: dogs dont have money
Livestock: not everything has to be about money....
Moof: businesses generally do
Livestock: tom we can run it as a nonprofit
Moof: hmm
Moof: to launder money...
Moof: from our illegal haircut operation
Livestock: tom there is nothing illegal about our haircut operation
Moof: then why do we need the dog tunnel
Livestock: tom it is a wind tunnel for dogs
Livestock: i don't know why you would ask
Livestock: people who don't have cars
Livestock: so their dogs can't stick their heads out the car windows
Livestock: will probably take their dogs to the dog wind tunnel
Moof: hmmm
Moof: josh that is something i had not considered
Moof: i worry whether there is a market for it though
Moof: i mean
Moof: most people have cars
Livestock: not everyone tom
Livestock: and that is where we will find our niche
Moof: i might open a competing service
Moof: wont have the expense of the wind tunnel
Moof: i will just drop the dogs face down from the top of a tower
Livestock: well tom
Livestock: i am not happy about the betrayal
Livestock: but competition will only benefit the consumer
Livestock: so i welcome the challenge
Livestock: the free market will sort this out
Moof: very well

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.