Livestock: do you recall the birth of the white buffalo and what it meant to our people
Moof: i recall that day the birds sat silent in the trees, and the streams were hushed in respect
Livestock: the trees too stood a little taller
Livestock: as if trying to look over one another to get a better view
Moof: i remember that was the day the chief died
Moof: as if his work was complete
Moof: i remember that day we feasted on buffalo hot dogs
Moof: and we punched their stupid faces
Moof: and then we went to the mall to get panda express
Livestock: we put saddles on their backs
Livestock: and rode them around the carnival
Moof: they never understood that this world could be beautiful
Moof: they never saw a glimpse
Moof: all they knew was what we made for them
Moof: and we made them dance for us
Livestock: tom you crossed a line
Livestock: in the sand
Moof: the tide will wash the line away by daybreak
Moof: it is no more permanent than you or i
Moof: for the tide will wash us away in time
Moof: because we are sandcastles
Moof: we are
Moof: i am not even joking
Livestock: roads are just sand made into rock
Moof: roads are an illusion
Moof: no one goes anywhere
Livestock: moof sometimes i wonder if we're all just dead and too stupid to realize it
Livestock: we're not sandcastles, we're buried underneath them
Moof: i dont think we are
Moof: because we defined what life is JB
Moof: and it is this
Livestock: but definitions are just lines made of words... and lines wash away
Moof: everything dies
Livestock: if it hasn't died already
Moof: except oak trees :)
Moof: want to get together some time and eat cookie dough and watch a walk to remember???????
Livestock: tom i am two steps ahead of you
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.