Carrying the Fire with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: okay tom i'm going to let you go buddy
Livestock: think i might go to bed
Moof: ok josh
Moof: listen
Moof: good luck
Livestock: take care of yourself keep yourself strong
Livestock: don't back down from bullies
Livestock: because that's what they expect
Moof: ok j
Livestock: look people in the eye when you shake their hand
Livestock: always with a firm grip
Moof: i will
Livestock: when someone challenges you
Livestock: don't back down
Livestock: but don't be stupid either
Moof: ok i wont
Livestock: when it rains use an umbrella
Moof: i might
Livestock: if there is a girl nearby without one
Livestock: offer her shelter
Livestock: under yours
Moof: but i like standing in the rain
Livestock: when you see a bear make loud noises and wave your arms and try to appear bigger
Moof: i will do that yes
Livestock: if your car breaks down get a jumpstart
Moof: what if i get a flat
Livestock: if you get a flat change the tire
Livestock: look i think i've taught you everything i know
Livestock: from here on out it's up to you
Moof: no
Moof: dont leave me
Livestock: i'm sorry tom
Moof: i am not ready
Livestock: it's up to you now
Livestock: to carry the fire
Livestock: you can do it tom
Moof: oh ok
Moof: np then
Livestock: you can do it
Moof: i will
Moof: honestly
Moof: you were more of a burden to me than anything
Livestock: i hope you die and i hope you choke on that stupid fire

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.