Late last month I went to Arizona and here is what me and Moof did:
Livestock: I want to punch so many people in the world but my poor fists are not up to the task.
Moof: so weak...
Livestock: hey tom,
josh here just saw your message calling me weak and wanted to set the record straight: you are the weak one!!
Moof: hey josh,
looks like there was a little misunderstanding so i wanted to clear it up - you are the one who is weak.
about your last message. i guess you were probably drunk or feeling pretty insecure when you wrote it, because you're not usually such a rotten liar. i'll just disregard it and stand by my initial statement.
wishing you all the best in the coming years,
Moof: hey josh this is tom, just w
Livestock: just what
Moof: i d
Livestock: type like a normal person
Moof: thought experiment: duckburgers
Livestock: not a good one ducks are a bad source of food
Moof: have you ever even eaten duck
Livestock: i'm offended you even had to ask
Livestock: the question is: have you eaten duck
Moof: yes of course
Moof: i have
Moof: many times
Livestock: what does duck taste like tom
Moof: kind of like dirty chicken
Moof: the meat is darker than chicken
Moof: and stringier
Moof: it's not that great
Livestock: so how is this going to make for good burgers
Livestock: people will see through your lies
Livestock: do you think you can really fool people
Livestock: are you that delusional
Moof: josh the masses are easily fooled
Livestock: you can fool some people
Livestock: but not with burgers
Livestock: burgers are like the hot dogs of non-hot dog foods
Moof: burgers schmurgers
Livestock: tom as a string theorist i disagree
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.