What they say: "We have produced a wide assortment of dolls. Feel free to contact us."
African Bride is lucky she could spot a husband with those crazy eyes. At least that hussy didn't try to get away with wearing white to her wedding.
I'm not sure who the target audience is with this doll, but the US market has moved past the point where the black dolls are treated as broad archetypes. Since about 1985 the dolls, like the people, are allowed to have names. You don't buy an "African Bride" so that Ken and Barbie can crash her wedding; you buy a "Christie" so that Barbie knows what name to scream when she's throwing Ken's clothes off the balcony.
What they say: "Commodity fortress"
I'm not normally inclined to criticize toys for scale inconsistencies, but this one is all over the place. The tiny princess figurines are too big for the castle, way too small for the giant furniture, and enormous compared to the mysterious pond-with-diving-board.
On the other hand, if you need to fortify your kingdom from a rampaging horde of dream unicorns and grotesquely oversized elves then here is your impenetrable fastness. Your commodities have never been so well-protected.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It is said the Lord did write upon the sky, "Only the Most Awful shall be cataloged herein." And a wind did come and blow away the words and turn them into a skull. And the writers did fall upon their knees and give thanks, for yea, the Most Awful was good. Thus the lists were born. Read them, sons and daughters, and be strong.