Hydrogen: If this were any other movie I'd believe that this scene was making fun of the girl for being a sociopath/airhead, but I'm pretty sure the message we're intended to take away is that she's normal and he's just socially awkward.
Trillaphon: Worse, I think she's supposed to be the smart one.
Trillaphon: What well-adjusted teenage boy wouldn't jump at the chance to do some girl's homework for her while she swims in his pool and texts her friends about what a dumbass he is?
Hydrogen: Ah, young love.
Trillaphon: Seriously, that girl is hunting his schlong like a Cossack aristocrat binging on ursine adrenal glands. "She keeps coming back for tutoring and rubbing stuff on me and I don't think she really even needs tutoring - girls sure are weird!"
Trillaphon: She's putting out a Fuck Me APB and he's playing fugitive.
Hydrogen: Yeah, as awful a character as she is, the son here isn't exactly going to win any personality awards.
Trillaphon: He has personality, in the sense that he's more neurotic than Larry David playing George Costanza in a Seinfeld remake directed by Woody Allen with all of the comedy surgically removed.
Hydrogen: Sure does make you want to punch him through the screen, doesn't it?
Trillaphon: One day someone is actually going to develop that technology, and on that day we will be kings.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
Honestly, the Assassin In Love poster is nearly perfect to begin with. It just needs a few minor tweaks.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.