Hydrogen: The thought occurs that maybe if they didn't murder that greeter robot that answered the door for them and all of the dancing robots, that big spider thing wouldn't be trying to kill them.
Trillaphon: That diabetic cat ramp they have on the basement stairs sure looks a lot more realistic as a dropship loading ramp when you pipe it through about 80 Vegas dust filters.
Hydrogen: Jesus Christ, they just keep making a point of working cigarettes in every 3 minutes just to show how everyone is too retarded to actually light them.
Trillaphon: "YOU LIGHT UP WHEN WE'RE DONE THE MISSION, BUT NOT IF MY MOM'S WATCHING BECAUSE SHE'LL TOTALLY KILL ME."
Hydrogen: We can't let the cigarettes distract us from that red-headed android lady, who sounds like she's trying to eat fistfuls of denture adhesive and rock salt while stumbling through her lines.
Trillaphon: LOADING ASPERGERS.ISO. ERROR: GOT A C IN ACTING CLASS.
Hydrogen: FILE NOT FOUND: ROBOT MOVEMENT.DAT. USING DEFAULT SETTING: SORORITY GIRL HIGH ON SHROOMS FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Hydrogen: I'm just glad to see our good friend Tybalt, god-king of overacting back in action, although he's dialed things back a lot, maybe at the request of Danny Glover's lawyer.
Trillaphon: It might seem like he's more restrained on the surface, but according to the credits he designed all the characters, and the one he picked for himself was "literally ginger Hitler but named after the director."
Hydrogen: If you shut your eyes you can practically see him guffawing and slapping the director on the back between every single take.
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.
You've heard of #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter, but the ancient voice of a mountain offers us the hardest truth of all: #NoLivesMatter. And also some opinions about immigrants.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.