The moon used to be cool but now its like a big floating piece of shit I fuckin hate it— The Prez (@Perfect_Beanis) September 23, 2010
I don’t believe in cops, so they can’t “arrest“ me. Whatever that means. *continues jump kicking and jump punching a Kia soul*— O (@bIoach) January 15, 2013
Is this mom ?— Cher(@cher) January 4, 2013
car wash big man. big man thru car was.hcan car wash be used on big man. can big man survive car washj. does car wash clean big man. #Bing— wint (@dril) January 14, 2013
a 80s movie style montage of me trying on different condoms and my bros keep shaking their heads— deg (@degg) January 13, 2013
Not sure how this ended up in my "design inspiration" folder. twitter.com/avocadobravado…— Rose (@avocadobravado) January 12, 2013
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!