Hydrogen: These are the Three Laws of Mega-Ironic Robotics, and when I read them out loud everyone in my screenwriting class stood up and clapped, can I get you any more fresh bread Mr. Spielberg?
Trillaphon: We could come up with better laws of robotics by eating half of a Scrabble set and barfing the tiles back up.
Hydrogen: The fourth law of robotics: humans must go down the stairs.
Trillaphon: A robot may not injure a human being, unless that injury involves stabbing people with a lightsaber, in which case it's totally cool and not a problem at all.
Hydrogen: Do not look at me, for I am self conscious about being fat.
Trillaphon: Do not attempt to tell me I do not look fat, I do not believe you, because you are only saying it to make me feel better.
Hydrogen:Do not eat delicious motor oils or plastic biomaterials in front of me, for I am on a diet.
Trillaphon: Do visit our helpful new website, www.laws.gov/killallhumans_whothinkimfat.htm
Hydrogen: These are the laws of New Old New York.
Hydrogen: That robot overlord is basically Michael Bloomberg, he loves to micromanage. Slightly more emphasis on the use of cybernetic sleeper-agent assassins, though.
Trillaphon: Pssh, I give it two years of the new guy before the people of New York are longing once more for the cold, steel embrace of a mechanical technocratic robot killing machine.
Hydrogen: Vote Hunter-Killer for mayor in 2018! An apple for every larval human school-pupil, and a faceful of hot plasma for all who would oppose his logical new order.
|Music / Sound||-8|
YOUNG AND USELESS - Meek dog lacks the age and experience necessary for the grim task at hand. Will trade for a dog unshackled from morality, and willing to do what needs to be done. 555-1299
This is not my jury summons!
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.