Hydrogen: These are the Three Laws of Mega-Ironic Robotics, and when I read them out loud everyone in my screenwriting class stood up and clapped, can I get you any more fresh bread Mr. Spielberg?
Trillaphon: We could come up with better laws of robotics by eating half of a Scrabble set and barfing the tiles back up.
Hydrogen: The fourth law of robotics: humans must go down the stairs.
Trillaphon: A robot may not injure a human being, unless that injury involves stabbing people with a lightsaber, in which case it's totally cool and not a problem at all.
Hydrogen: Do not look at me, for I am self conscious about being fat.
Trillaphon: Do not attempt to tell me I do not look fat, I do not believe you, because you are only saying it to make me feel better.
Hydrogen:Do not eat delicious motor oils or plastic biomaterials in front of me, for I am on a diet.
Trillaphon: Do visit our helpful new website, www.laws.gov/killallhumans_whothinkimfat.htm
Hydrogen: These are the laws of New Old New York.
Hydrogen: That robot overlord is basically Michael Bloomberg, he loves to micromanage. Slightly more emphasis on the use of cybernetic sleeper-agent assassins, though.
Trillaphon: Pssh, I give it two years of the new guy before the people of New York are longing once more for the cold, steel embrace of a mechanical technocratic robot killing machine.
Hydrogen: Vote Hunter-Killer for mayor in 2018! An apple for every larval human school-pupil, and a faceful of hot plasma for all who would oppose his logical new order.
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Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
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