Hydrogen: These are the Three Laws of Mega-Ironic Robotics, and when I read them out loud everyone in my screenwriting class stood up and clapped, can I get you any more fresh bread Mr. Spielberg?
Trillaphon: We could come up with better laws of robotics by eating half of a Scrabble set and barfing the tiles back up.
Hydrogen: The fourth law of robotics: humans must go down the stairs.
Trillaphon: A robot may not injure a human being, unless that injury involves stabbing people with a lightsaber, in which case it's totally cool and not a problem at all.
Hydrogen: Do not look at me, for I am self conscious about being fat.
Trillaphon: Do not attempt to tell me I do not look fat, I do not believe you, because you are only saying it to make me feel better.
Hydrogen:Do not eat delicious motor oils or plastic biomaterials in front of me, for I am on a diet.
Trillaphon: Do visit our helpful new website, www.laws.gov/killallhumans_whothinkimfat.htm
Hydrogen: These are the laws of New Old New York.
Hydrogen: That robot overlord is basically Michael Bloomberg, he loves to micromanage. Slightly more emphasis on the use of cybernetic sleeper-agent assassins, though.
Trillaphon: Pssh, I give it two years of the new guy before the people of New York are longing once more for the cold, steel embrace of a mechanical technocratic robot killing machine.
Hydrogen: Vote Hunter-Killer for mayor in 2018! An apple for every larval human school-pupil, and a faceful of hot plasma for all who would oppose his logical new order.
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The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
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