Hydrogen: Ah, the age-old technique of seduction by ball-flashing.
Trillaphon: Tiananwomen Square will never forget this - the day this mountain of a man, this mythical adonis hoisted himself up on his mighty pommel steed and said "I Will Not Be Intimidated, I Will Not Be Controlled, I Will Not Adhere to Gym Dress Policies or the Timeless Oppression of Tight, Junk-Tyrannizing Undershackles-"
Hydrogen: ...I had 50 jokes ready about this scene, but none of them can possibly begin to approach the pommel horse in the middle of "Tiananwomen Square". Carry on.
Trillaphon: "REMEMBER BOYS, THEY CAN TAKE OUR MEMBERSHIP CARDS AND COMPLIMENTARY LANYARDS, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!" And so it was, that day at the Hanging of the Brain.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.