Hydrogen: Man, our cut of this movie is way more coherent and better-paced. (Watch on Youtube)
Trillaphon: But it still manages to preserve the basic elements: douchebags, more douchebags, steamy latent homoeroticism, and badly attempted rape.
Hydrogen: I dunno, we might be playing up the homoeroticism part a little.
Trillaphon: Oh really, we're exaggerating that part? By selectively editing a movie where the main characters have a totally not-gay frat enemies sauna and mixer and use the word "hard" a lot? The same movie in which a major plot point involves one of the frat boys taking pictures of the other one's naked ass through a high-powered telescope?
Hydrogen: Okay, maybe not. The real question is why all the men in this movie are throwing themselves at that Chopin lady, despite the fact that she looks like Sigourney Weaver if the alien face-hugger had attached to the back of her head and started growing an afro.
Trillaphon: That would be because of the lame contest between Snooty House and Phi Kappa Headslap to see who can date rape her first, which nobody wins, and we all lose/learn a valuable lesson about love and not watching stupid '80s Animal House ripoffs in the process.
Hydrogen: So the guys who spend the whole movie making fun of the pathetic nerd who can't get laid can't get laid because they bet each other that they totally can get laid and instead of actually trying to do that they keep pretending to get laid which results in none of them ever getting laid?
Hydrogen: God damn it. You know what? Fine. Let's grant their wish and give them the plagiaristic ending they wish they could have run with in the first place.
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It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
A brave pop culture addict puts his foot down once and for all.
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