Hydrogen: What the hell, is Macbeth in the next room over?

Trillaphon: Yep, just got his tonsils out, now he's treating himself to some FroYo & Banjo Kazooie.

Trillaphon: "Ah, I see you've met our crack team of Gypsy Witch-Priestess Diagnosticians! Best this side of Dunsinane."

Hydrogen: "Doctor, she just wrote some gutteral chants in my chart in chicken blood then threw some monkey knuckles on the ground and spit in my mouth!"

Trillaphon: "What were you expecting, a lollipop? Grow up."

Trillaphon: That burger thing might be the best fake-out in (dumbass horror) movie history.

Hydrogen: Coming this fall...Quentin Tarantino IS: The Hamburglar.

Trillaphon: I'd probably try to kill the pain with booze and ketchup if I looked like him too. If Tarantino and Roman Polanski conceived a squishy misshapen abomination-baby, gave gross, sloppy manbirth to it on a big pile of chin putty, and then surgically grafted a Bob Hope death mask onto its face, that guy would look like Jon Hamm compared to this guy.

Hydrogen: Why - why do you do this to me?

Trillaphon: More important question: why is every person in this movie the evil one?

Hydrogen: I don't know, those gypsies can be kind of nice once you get to know them.

More Reviews [Movies]

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.