Hydrogen: What the hell, is Macbeth in the next room over?
Trillaphon: Yep, just got his tonsils out, now he's treating himself to some FroYo & Banjo Kazooie.
Trillaphon: "Ah, I see you've met our crack team of Gypsy Witch-Priestess Diagnosticians! Best this side of Dunsinane."
Hydrogen: "Doctor, she just wrote some gutteral chants in my chart in chicken blood then threw some monkey knuckles on the ground and spit in my mouth!"
Trillaphon: "What were you expecting, a lollipop? Grow up."
Trillaphon: That burger thing might be the best fake-out in (dumbass horror) movie history.
Hydrogen: Coming this fall...Quentin Tarantino IS: The Hamburglar.
Trillaphon: I'd probably try to kill the pain with booze and ketchup if I looked like him too. If Tarantino and Roman Polanski conceived a squishy misshapen abomination-baby, gave gross, sloppy manbirth to it on a big pile of chin putty, and then surgically grafted a Bob Hope death mask onto its face, that guy would look like Jon Hamm compared to this guy.
Hydrogen: Why - why do you do this to me?
Trillaphon: More important question: why is every person in this movie the evil one?
Hydrogen: I don't know, those gypsies can be kind of nice once you get to know them.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.