Trillaphon: Oh no, it's a horrible monstrous alien uber-crab! Well, okay, it's just a regular crab, but it's really big! Look how big it is! Also, it's the color of a boiled crab because this movie was made by mouth-breathing hog sloppers!

Hydrogen: Hi there, I'm Joe, the cannon fodder. Just standing here so a monster can come along and gruesomely murder me. Doo de doo.

Trillaphon: Yeeeeep, annnny minute now. Should be GHRYRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRLNGFFUUUHH

Hydrogen: Damn, he was just 2 days away from retirement too. Fat pension and everything.

Trillaphon: They can teach you everything in the academy, everything except how to deal with watching an 80 foot tall crab snip your best friend's head off like a frozen yogurt coupon.

Hydrogen: I'm sure the healing process involves lots of dick jokes and quiet hoo-ahs.

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