Trillaphon: Oh no, it's a horrible monstrous alien uber-crab! Well, okay, it's just a regular crab, but it's really big! Look how big it is! Also, it's the color of a boiled crab because this movie was made by mouth-breathing hog sloppers!
Hydrogen: Hi there, I'm Joe, the cannon fodder. Just standing here so a monster can come along and gruesomely murder me. Doo de doo.
Trillaphon: Yeeeeep, annnny minute now. Should be GHRYRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRLNGFFUUUHH
Hydrogen: Damn, he was just 2 days away from retirement too. Fat pension and everything.
Trillaphon: They can teach you everything in the academy, everything except how to deal with watching an 80 foot tall crab snip your best friend's head off like a frozen yogurt coupon.
Hydrogen: I'm sure the healing process involves lots of dick jokes and quiet hoo-ahs.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
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