Hydrogen: 'Admiral Rogers, sir? We have a problem. We lost contact with one of the rotisseries over an hour ago, and we're afraid the chicken might not be getting toasty golden brown on the outside while remaining mouth-wateringly juicy on the inside, sir.'
Trillaphon: '...My God. Get me the president.'
Hydrogen: 'Sir, the Space White House was just destroyed, we watched it live, right here in this room, don't you remember?'
Trillaphon: 'I always knew this day would come. Lieutenant Schaeffer, I believe I'll take my 4 piece dinner with two sides and flaky buttermilk biscuits in the state room tonight, and I'm not to be disturbed. Once you've seen to my bib & mustache comb, I want you to sound general quarters and give the order to abandon ship.'
Trillaphon: 'That's an order Lieutenant, not a request. The silent countdown has already been set, and by the time I have finished my new Kennylicious Sizzlin Ranch-Dipped Roast Pork Quesodeala combo meal - complete with spaghetti muffin - and the last bittersweet chords of what will surely be the most hickory-smoked honey-spun tenor rendition of Islands in the Stream ever performed on ornate pipe organ, this ship and any who remain on it will vanish with me into the cold indifferent silence of space.'
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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