Hydrogen: Urge to regurge, you say?
Trillaphon: The nag to gag?
Hydrogen: Yeah, you know, the hunger to chunder. The need to heave, the impetus to emesis.
Trillaphon: The gitup to spit up, the compulsion to do some expulsion, the kick to sick, the--
Hydrogen: OK, that's enough, we'll never top urge to 'gurge and you know it.
Trillaphon: It's just that it's going to take the world by storm and I want us to get in on some of that sick, nauselicious 'gurge urgin gag swag merch dirt.
Hydrogen: Moving on, I find myself wondering what Sean Astin lettered in here, exactly, aside from oddly poetic descriptions of human bodily functions.
Trillaphon: Something something taters precious.
Trillaphon: Seriously though, he looks like he's about to star in an all-doo wop Broadway revival of The Breakfast Club.
Hydrogen: Is it an alternate version of the Breakfast Club starring nothing but Lord of the Rings characters as teenagers? Because I'd watch that. Wise-cracking teenage Gandalf and his Fellowship of the Wedgie, stuck in Saturday detention by old man Sauron.
Trillaphon: And fried rats? Seriously? How could something like this happen under the watchful gaze of Comrade Colonel Lenin von Sanderstein?
Hydrogen: Don't know, don't wanna know.
Trillaphon: "Yeah, uhh, lemme get the #5 no lettuce, a #3 extra large with the coleslaw, and a 6-piece bucket of SATANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.