Women may have great tits, but can they work? Top menstronomers suggest that women might be a great boon for workplace productivity, if offered as rewards to efficient employees.
Xerox machines save you the work of copying documents by hand, but at what cost? Must the wizened transcribers of the world lay down their quills and, facing the shame of unemployment, hang themselves with their own venerable beards? Certainly not. Set them to work copying bibles, and God shall smile upon your ventures.
Yelling at your coworkers, contrary to popular belief, does not increase their productivity. Like the white rhino, they may become frightened and hostile when cornered, trampling and goring you with their aphrodisiac horns.
Zo long, friends! May this advice sound business drive you to new heights of workplace potency!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.