Sexual harassment is a bad idea, buddy! While you're making eyes at the receptionist or snapping your secretary's bra, you're wasting valuable businessmoments. Channel your sexual frustrations into your work instead: your natural emissions make great laminate, sealing wax or, if you're in exceptionally good health, correctional fluid.
Tines is money! When engaged in a business luncheon, make sure to grab a fork with four or more tines. Three tines equal bad business; lunch goes slower, conversation grinds to a halt, and your colleagues shift uncomfortably in their seats as you struggle to drive morsels into your mouth with your inefficient utensil. Take a tip from the top brass: buy a fork with five to seven tines and carry it with you always.
Underlining words might make a bold impact, but always remember that the time you spent underlining that word could have been spent writing more words, and maybe even underlining them, instead. Think about it.
Vasectomies are the devoted businessman's first line of defense against efficiency-destroying distractions in the home. Keep one in your briefcase at all times, but take it out only when appropriate; it may scare your squeamish coworkers, but it can be a great boon when you're up against a tight deadline and your wife won't stop calling up and ovulating at you.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
Grimy horror growler Rob Zombie's scariest music videos finally ranked to warn your children.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
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