Awhile back I shared with you a couple pages from some of my family's old catalogues. In the late 1800s and early 1900s, the Boruff family was prosperous in the booming catalogue business. We were connected through unfortunate business partnerships with the Davies family, a corrupt clan of bedwetters and cardsharps. This partnership lasted many years, until the wise elders of my family tricked the foolish patriarchs of the Davies to board a boat that took them back to England, where most of them fester to this day.
My family left the catalog business in 1921, but produced many, many volumes before then. I'm going to share with you a page from a 1897 edition. This is from what would, in modern times, be referred to as a clearance section.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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