Fans of death metal stars Cranial Impalement might be more than a little surprised by some of the strange items that have crept onto the hospitality rider for their 2004 tour of Eastern Europe. Fans may remember their infamous request for an "enraged bear with a demoniac visage" from their 2003 New Jersey tour, but this rider might seem even more bizarre for what it doesn't contain. The band asks for two packs of "kosher hot dogs," but asks for three packages of "wheat hot dog buns." Don't get greedy with the carbs, guys! Plus check out some of their ridiculous requests for amenities in the dressing rooms. Yeah, roomS plural. Lead singer and apparent diva Bleedus Foetus (Ian Cohen) requires his very own dressing room. (4 pages)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.