Fans of death metal stars Cranial Impalement might be more than a little surprised by some of the strange items that have crept onto the hospitality rider for their 2004 tour of Eastern Europe. Fans may remember their infamous request for an "enraged bear with a demoniac visage" from their 2003 New Jersey tour, but this rider might seem even more bizarre for what it doesn't contain. The band asks for two packs of "kosher hot dogs," but asks for three packages of "wheat hot dog buns." Don't get greedy with the carbs, guys! Plus check out some of their ridiculous requests for amenities in the dressing rooms. Yeah, roomS plural. Lead singer and apparent diva Bleedus Foetus (Ian Cohen) requires his very own dressing room. (4 pages)
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.