Place your foot firmly on one edge of the Xbox and pull with your other hand. Easy now. Just a little further. You got it.
Success! It's open! Your are that much closer to a working game system.
First, jiggle the screwdriver around to fool your roommates into thinking you know what you're doing.
Point at random shit on the motherboard and pretend you know what it is. See, that's the transistor unit that pushes megaflops to the CPU ram.
Now apply the new heatsink to the mainboard by use of IDE cable interface. This will allow the heat from the CPU to radiate away from the console to where you need it most. If you don't have IDE cable you must get one within 24 hours or the bus will explode.
We are almost there. Check out the custom made ATI video card. It has over 6 transistors, almost all of them designed for colors. Now we're ready to reassemble. Give it a few good whacks with your hammer.
Good! Plug it in and turn it on. Success! Join the millions of hardcore gamers that have used this trick and are giving Microsoft the finger while renting bad games just to get achievements for their e-penis score.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.