If you're looking for a pipe to put in your lips that will make you feel like a red-blooded man, then Tareyton is the cigarette for you. These raw puffers have a leathery pull with hard notes of cedar, pine, and whiskey. Not a beginner's cigarette, they demand your attention and reward the hard work it takes to acquire a taste for Tareytons. Once you "get" the Tareyton appeal you will be a loyal puffer. Solid trick smoke, the filters barely even register, and the linger is what Don Draper smells like after he wakes up in a Manhattan bus station on New Years.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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