This Sunday supreme Something Awful maven Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka wed his beautiful fiancée Megan in an extremely classy wedding ceremony that involved less than three neckbeards and only one Linux t-shirt. Several members of the SA staff as well as the brains behind Mega64 were also seen in attendance by snooping gossipmongers from the tabloids.
Rich is continuing to enjoy his honeymoon in Cancun, so guess what suckers? Another day of Zack!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.