Hey, dude, why bother going to the stores when you can wear your boxer pants and download all of the best deals on your home PC? You bought all of your toasters and ethernet hubs at the store on Friday, but you saved your major purchases to buy on the Information Super Highway for Cyber Monday! It's today. The deal day. We have surfed the World Wide Web to find the best virtual doorbuster deal for your dollars. Stock up for Christmas!
Spheres, orbs, balls, what more do you need? Available in chrome, marble or colors. You can wrap your own textures on these spheres. Imagine what they would look like hovering over a chessboard. You don't have to. You can make it happen and then walk around it virtual 360 degrees.
Manipulate that ball. Turn. Put a globe on it and spin it. Four globes under a waterfall? Could be just the right screen saver to set a scene for a romantic dinner. Just you and a girl and a repeating midi of the Peanuts theme. Animate the balls...or not. Do you have stairs in your house? Virtual stairs? Sounds perfect for spheres. Ghostly glowing orbs fill a graveyard. Is that a skeleton? NO. It's a bargain. $99 (Was $150)
An entire world of a grid is before you. You are wired into the future. Welcome to the digital space. The Infoworld. The cybernets. This unbelievable deal comes from 3D rendering artist and part time drum loops composer and dad Shannon "Neo 2.0" Matrix the ergonomic keyboard cowboy of La Jolla California.
This package includes an infinite grid of circuit-like glowing neon plus 60 falling numbers or letters waterfalls and 300 ASCII towers. You can change the text to be whatever you want. HAPPY GRADUATION! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Celebrate a retirement for your whole office. Virtually. Works great with chrome orbs. You are chrome orbs.exe. $500 (was $999)
Crazy Liquid Metal Dude
This wicked real mercury metal dude has five joints and can turn into a puddle of liquid metal, a sphere of liquid metal or you can have him dance in this wild, mind-expanding spinning move where he keeps forming and reforming to techno music and turns into dolphins and, like, a spiral (meaning infinity) and you like swoop in through the spiral and come out the other side and he reforms.
You could also use this to like, educate children about their self-reality and how, like, if you break it down we're actually just water and metal (liquid metal) and how if you also think about it what Bush did is illegal against International Law.
Enter coupon code BURNINGMAN420 to receive a holiday discount. $800 (was $1500)
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.