Dazzled by a space girl!
Nothing feels quite so comforting as the embrace of a paunchy centurion.
I didn't know it till I became a girl for the day, but there is absolutely nothing in this world so attractive as wearing briefs over your pants.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.