25. Schoolgirl (Die, Natalee, Die! - Jaguar)
24. Schoolgirl - Spiked (Die, Natalee, Die! - Jaguar)
23. Schoolgirl - Ant Form (Mr. President You Can't Touch That - PC)
22. Unfulfilled Aspirations (Warthog Strike: Destination Oil - PC)
21. Civilization (Cry of the Werewolf - 360)
20. Serpent Fiend (Turbo Typing Tutor - PC)
19. Skeleton Schoolgirl - Missile and Torpedo (Synecdoche Missiles - PS3)
As happens every year with our list, we've lost some high-ranked characters. Games like Wengu Dengu Catmans Baseball for the Wii saw multiple characters come and go between last year and this year. 18. Poison Cloud (Pit 6: The Golden Temples of Soggymom - Playstation)
17. Todd (Todd 2 - SNES)
16. Crimson Summoner (Todd 2 - SNES)
15. Teachings of Jesus (Mr. President That's Called a Bible, Pro - PC)
14. Jet Pack Youth Pastor (Bible Pyramids of Mesoamerica: Bibles Built the Aztec Pyramids - PS2)
13. Chris Benoit (Deadliest of the WWE - Xbox)
12. Skeleton - Mrs. Benoit (Deadliest of the WWE - Xbox)
11. Picasso (Stone Soldier 3: Apotheosis - PS3)
10. Gestalt (Mr. President Your Ant Form Is Ready - PSP)
9. Nyo-nyo (F-22: Raptor: The Bermuda Missions DLC - PC)
A strong showing by Boss Ape owes in large part to a forums campaign by SA poster Shrekfan69. The voting might have been rigged, but we felt obligated to include this retro character.8. Boss Ape (Escalator EscApe - NES)
7. Unrealistic Demands on Working Women (Gore Frenzy: Hellfuge of the Daemonscroll - PS3)
6. Carpenter Cuddy (Adventures of Cuddy & Buddy - Playstation)
5. Banjo Buddy (Adventures of Cuddy & Buddy - Playstation)
4. Super Cuddy (Cuddy 2 - PS2)
3. Dark Cuddy (Cuddy Sculpt? - PS2)
2. Schoolgirl - Moistened (Shameless Busty Hussies and Mr. President This Is Real Life Now - PC)
1. Zombie Cuddy (Enough With the Zombies You Boring Fuckers - PS3)
With Mergatroid and Hepspital retired from the list and out of the picture Cuddy came on strong with his brand of wise-cracking action. The Japanese rhythm RPGs of the Mr. President series did particularly well compared to last year's showing. It's a bold list. I would have liked to have seen more PC RPG's (uh, hello, Dinosaur Bat from Foreverwood? Froglor Captain? Yeah, robbed) and some respect for great Wii characters like Tennis Dorfo and the semi-HD upgrades for the Volf series. We'll see how things change next year.
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.