Moof: are you wearing any socks
Moof: i am
Moof: no gloves though
Livestock: i'm wearing gloves
Livestock: so that falcons can land on my arms
Livestock: they never do
Livestock: i'll keep waiting for them
Moof: what about a scarf
Livestock: no scarf
Moof: what about earmuffs
Livestock: do you believe in fate
Livestock: do you believe in litmus tests
Livestock: moof when you are driving your car on the highway
Livestock: do you ever look to the side and see weigh stations
Livestock: and think "i wonder how much me and my car weigh?"
Livestock: and then pull off and get in line to be weighed
Livestock: because i did once and they yelled at me
Moof: last night
Moof: i had a dream
Moof: i crossed the border into mexico
Moof: to go to the beach
Moof: and i sat on the beach and watched the sunset
Moof: and then drove home
Moof: and i was incredibly relaxed and happy
Livestock: did you see any banditos
Moof: nope no banditos
Livestock: that is a good dream
Livestock: hello kevin
Fragmaster: i was thinking that you're always talking to moof and people think it is funny so why don't we have a conversation and it will be a funny chat log as well
OK say something
Livestock: kevin what's the deal with microwave ovens
Livestock: it's like i looked at one with a microscope one day and i didn't see any tiny waves in there
Livestock: they ought to call it an invisible wave oven
Fragmaster: who the fuck do you think you are, Jerry Seinfeld?
Livestock: no of course not
Fragmaster: why don't you molest a 16-year-old girl you pervert?
Livestock: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Livestock: WHAT THE HELL
Fragmaster: I'm an Internet Celebrity you little worm piece of shit
Fragmaster: Don't you know who I AM!??!!
Livestock: You're pile a crap
Fragmaster: I could snap your neck you little rubberducky sucking minsk
Fragmaster: ok that was as funny as a moof chatlog right?
Livestock: no it was not and frankly i'm disgusted with you as a person
Fragmaster: I don't see how, I thought it was hilarious
Livestock: ok dawg i'lll use it in my daily dirt
Fragmaster: Very respectful, high-brow, political humour
Fragmaster: NO DONT
Fragmaster: oh OK this is a free country I suppose
U.S.A #1 last I checked....................................
Livestock: you're not very fun to have quality chatlogs with
Fragmaster: That's true
I need to add more emoicons and say cute things :)
Livestock: hehe :)
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.