A Chance Encounter with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: hey
Moof: hey
Livestock: :)
Moof: a/s/l
Livestock: 23/m/WA
Moof: are you wearing any socks
Livestock: nope
Livestock: why
Moof: i am
Livestock: okay
Livestock: cool
Moof: no gloves though
Livestock: i'm wearing gloves
Livestock: so that falcons can land on my arms
Livestock: they never do
Livestock: i'll keep waiting for them
Moof: what about a scarf
Livestock: no scarf
Moof: what about earmuffs
Livestock: yes
Livestock: you?
Moof: yes
Livestock: do you believe in fate
Moof: sometimes
Livestock: do you believe in litmus tests
Moof: yes
Livestock: moof when you are driving your car on the highway
Livestock: do you ever look to the side and see weigh stations
Livestock: and think "i wonder how much me and my car weigh?"
Moof: sometimes
Livestock: and then pull off and get in line to be weighed
Livestock: because i did once and they yelled at me
Moof: heheh
Moof: last night
Moof: i had a dream
Livestock: yes
Moof: i crossed the border into mexico
Moof: to go to the beach
Moof: and i sat on the beach and watched the sunset
Moof: and then drove home
Moof: and i was incredibly relaxed and happy
Livestock: did you see any banditos
Moof: nope no banditos
Livestock: that is a good dream

Fragmaster is an Asshole with Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen

Fragmaster: hello
Livestock: hello kevin
Fragmaster: i was thinking that you're always talking to moof and people think it is funny so why don't we have a conversation and it will be a funny chat log as well

OK say something
Livestock: kevin what's the deal with microwave ovens
Livestock: it's like i looked at one with a microscope one day and i didn't see any tiny waves in there
Livestock: they ought to call it an invisible wave oven
Fragmaster: who the fuck do you think you are, Jerry Seinfeld?
Livestock: no of course not
Fragmaster: why don't you molest a 16-year-old girl you pervert?
Livestock: WHAT THE HELL
Fragmaster: I'm an Internet Celebrity you little worm piece of shit
Fragmaster: Don't you know who I AM!??!!
Livestock: You're pile a crap
Fragmaster: I could snap your neck you little rubberducky sucking minsk
Fragmaster: ok that was as funny as a moof chatlog right?
Livestock: no it was not and frankly i'm disgusted with you as a person
Fragmaster: I don't see how, I thought it was hilarious
Livestock: ok dawg i'lll use it in my daily dirt
Fragmaster: Very respectful, high-brow, political humour
Fragmaster: NO DONT
Livestock: why
Fragmaster: oh OK this is a free country I suppose

U.S.A #1 last I checked....................................
Livestock: you're not very fun to have quality chatlogs with
Fragmaster: That's true

I need to add more emoicons and say cute things :)
Livestock: hehe :)

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.