A Chance Encounter with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: hey
Moof: hey
Livestock: :)
Moof: a/s/l
Livestock: 23/m/WA
Moof: are you wearing any socks
Livestock: nope
Livestock: why
Moof: i am
Livestock: okay
Livestock: cool
Moof: no gloves though
Livestock: i'm wearing gloves
Livestock: so that falcons can land on my arms
Livestock: they never do
Livestock: i'll keep waiting for them
Moof: what about a scarf
Livestock: no scarf
Moof: what about earmuffs
Livestock: yes
Livestock: you?
Moof: yes
Livestock: do you believe in fate
Moof: sometimes
Livestock: do you believe in litmus tests
Moof: yes
Livestock: moof when you are driving your car on the highway
Livestock: do you ever look to the side and see weigh stations
Livestock: and think "i wonder how much me and my car weigh?"
Moof: sometimes
Livestock: and then pull off and get in line to be weighed
Livestock: because i did once and they yelled at me
Moof: heheh
Moof: last night
Moof: i had a dream
Livestock: yes
Moof: i crossed the border into mexico
Moof: to go to the beach
Moof: and i sat on the beach and watched the sunset
Moof: and then drove home
Moof: and i was incredibly relaxed and happy
Livestock: did you see any banditos
Moof: nope no banditos
Livestock: that is a good dream

Fragmaster is an Asshole with Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen


Fragmaster: hello
Livestock: hello kevin
Fragmaster: i was thinking that you're always talking to moof and people think it is funny so why don't we have a conversation and it will be a funny chat log as well

OK say something
Livestock: kevin what's the deal with microwave ovens
Livestock: it's like i looked at one with a microscope one day and i didn't see any tiny waves in there
Livestock: they ought to call it an invisible wave oven
Fragmaster: who the fuck do you think you are, Jerry Seinfeld?
Livestock: no of course not
Fragmaster: why don't you molest a 16-year-old girl you pervert?
Livestock: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Livestock: WHAT THE HELL
Fragmaster: I'm an Internet Celebrity you little worm piece of shit
Fragmaster: Don't you know who I AM!??!!
Livestock: You're pile a crap
Fragmaster: I could snap your neck you little rubberducky sucking minsk
Fragmaster: ok that was as funny as a moof chatlog right?
Livestock: no it was not and frankly i'm disgusted with you as a person
Fragmaster: I don't see how, I thought it was hilarious
Livestock: ok dawg i'lll use it in my daily dirt
Fragmaster: Very respectful, high-brow, political humour
Fragmaster: NO DONT
Livestock: why
Fragmaster: oh OK this is a free country I suppose

U.S.A #1 last I checked....................................
Livestock: you're not very fun to have quality chatlogs with
Fragmaster: That's true

I need to add more emoicons and say cute things :)
Livestock: hehe :)

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.