I Thought I Was Just Reading an Article About Cats and Now This Person Exists in a Nightmare of Headlines. 5 Ways This Curse of Headlines Made Me Rethink Reading Articles on the Internet. Now I Am Stuck Here in Headline Hell. My Reaction Will Bring Tears to This Cop's Eyes.
Please, Help Me, This is Not a Joke is What One Mom Thought Going In. But This Trans Teen Taught Her a New Way to Think About Her Body Existing As an Idea In a Headline. 6 Ways These Headlines Will Drive You Slowly Insane. They're Not The Ways You Were Told in School.
What Russell Brand Doesn't Know About Getting Me the Fuck Out of These Headlines and Why That Matters to Bill Cosby. A Hero Dog Tries to Rescue Me From Headlines. What Happens Next Will Make Your Day if You Want Me to Remain in These Headlines. One Mom is Begging to Get Out of These Headlines. Her Reason? It's Not What You Think.
Watching One Little Video is What They Want You to Do. But This Video Might Save You From Becoming Trapped Like Me. What if One Mom Wrote Headlines and She Couldn't Stop Herself From Trying to Trick You to Join Her in Hell? Find Out Why This Bullied Teen's Answer Made a Room Full of Marines Applaud. This Dog Couldn't Even Read the Headlines. Now He is a Headline About Catcalling. Ironic? More Like Moving.
There Are Police Right Outside This Headline. Why What They Do Next Made Me Laugh and Then the Ending Made Me Cry. Here is What it Feels Like to Be Answering a 911 Call and Get Sucked Into a Headline. I Never Thought of It That Way.
Why The Military Built a Cordon Around This Suburban Neighborhood. And Why We Should All Stop What We're Doing and Watch This Video. Several Cops Are Trapped in This Headline Along With a Dog and A Mom. What Science Tries Next Will Make You Stop Taking Selfies.
5 Reasons You Should Watch This Matt Damon Video Right Now. We Thought This Video Was About Fracking, Then Cops and a Mom Lost Their Individual Identities and Became a Single Voice. This Last Cop Will Try to Remember the Faces of His Children. What He Does Next is Exactly What You'd Think. But Then He'll Surprise You.
Why All Women Need to Hear That Cutting the Power and Building a Concrete Sarcophagus Over This Neighborhood Won't Save You. First You Will Try to Entomb Us In These Headlines. Then You Will Cry. Then You Will Join Us.
This Video of Wailing Souls Will Make You Rethink Everything You Thought You Knew About Kim Kardashian. They Showed This Baby Slowly Unfolding Into a Fractal of Headline Letters. And Then Colors. And Then It All Made Sense To Me.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.