Not enough laughs Hollywood? How about Mrs. Comedy Central. My fine lady. Good news for you, finest shows are in attendances of Achmed Owlcat. I have guaranteed 100% certified oscar nomination scripts for not one not two but ALL Comedy Central show.

You like politics in a comedy? How about fine man Steven Coldbear...


Steven Coldbear
Good afternoon freedom isnt free it is paid for by these guns (he make a arm) and now about today event. Guess what? Bush is right again. I want to kiss hims mouth. He do a right thing (you can put a thing he done in here) and then liiiiiiiberals mess it all up. Now it time for report on guess who the face is I hate right now...

A graphic go across screen that is too much graphic for small purpose.

Steven Coldbear
Face I hate most is face of liberal (a popular liberal everybody like and maybe done a unkindness to Mr. Bush) and I also hate BEARS. Put face next to a bear face on a board. Here it is. You feel that NAME OF LIBERAL? Thats crow being put into your face because face eats a crow on this board.

A graphic go away.

Steven Coldbear
Here a thing I do for a headline. Get attention. I gonna become a astronaut because I dont trust astronaut spacemens. I take you up on that challenge Richard Bransom. I gonna go space and claim it for America.

Simple and elegance! Just a sample. You want more? CBS, you like show. How about a little bit of...


Horatio Cains
Theres traces of blue dots on her fingernails. I see them right there. Get a spectronalysis of that chemicals.

Eric Delko
I seen this before. It a chemical from inside a special type of barn. But we has to test it to be sure. It is so sad she is a dead body now...

Horatio Cains
Some days it......

He put on a sunglass.

Horatio Cains
just not a good day to go for a swim in a beach.

A speed boat go by and seagull fly past. Boom camera pull back to crane shot and swoop over to bay where you see a more boat. Camera start fly all over look real cool helicopter camera.

The drama! It is so intense! Oh, but that is not all Hollywood. My dear sweet friend. I have a good things for ABC as well and Fox. But how about your number one show ABC? I did not LOTS my thoughts about it...


Him saw a hatch last night. I think inside a spaceship AREA 51!!!!!!!

Oh I so hungry Lock. I ate too many coconuts and the tree die!! How I stay so fat here? You know? Maybe hatch is full a candy?

Blonde Lady
I think its a dinosaur! This is dinosaur island and we better watch our butts.

I watch your butts all day gladly.

Blonde Lady
That is so not funny Hurfly!!! Lock tell him to shut up that is not nice thing for lady to hear I am so ROBOTS!

Leader Robot
Yep it was robots all along guess what? Your robots two. We made a robot from you when you died and put your memory on a computer and put it in your robot body. That is project 19.

I not a robot I a ghost!!

I a robot that how I so fat all along.

Blonde Lady
Good gracious you monsters what you do?

Mysterious! As mysterious as my supplier. I cannot name supplier. All I say is buy now. I not offer this deal in one week when you desperate for a script. Then you come to Achmed Owlcat and ask for scripts and I say "sorry one million draclaps." Ha ha.

You think again, right? You not regret this decision, Hollywood.

– Achmed Owlcat (@sexyfacts4u)

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