Not enough laughs Hollywood? How about Mrs. Comedy Central. My fine lady. Good news for you, finest shows are in attendances of Achmed Owlcat. I have guaranteed 100% certified oscar nomination scripts for not one not two but ALL Comedy Central show.
You like politics in a comedy? How about fine man Steven Coldbear...
INT. STEVEN COLDBEAR LETTER C
Good afternoon freedom isnt free it is paid for by these guns (he make a arm) and now about today event. Guess what? Bush is right again. I want to kiss hims mouth. He do a right thing (you can put a thing he done in here) and then liiiiiiiberals mess it all up. Now it time for report on guess who the face is I hate right now...
A graphic go across screen that is too much graphic for small purpose.
(CONTINUE IRONIC TALK)
Face I hate most is face of liberal (a popular liberal everybody like and maybe done a unkindness to Mr. Bush) and I also hate BEARS. Put face next to a bear face on a board. Here it is. You feel that NAME OF LIBERAL? Thats crow being put into your face because face eats a crow on this board.
A graphic go away.
(MORE IRONIC TALK)
Here a thing I do for a headline. Get attention. I gonna become a astronaut because I dont trust astronaut spacemens. I take you up on that challenge Richard Bransom. I gonna go space and claim it for America.
Simple and elegance! Just a sample. You want more? CBS, you like show. How about a little bit of...
EXT. MIAMI USA - ORANGE DAY
(LOOK A DEAD BODY)
Theres traces of blue dots on her fingernails. I see them right there. Get a spectronalysis of that chemicals.
(HE STAND UP HE WAS LOOK A DEAD BODY)
I seen this before. It a chemical from inside a special type of barn. But we has to test it to be sure. It is so sad she is a dead body now...
Some days it......
He put on a sunglass.
just not a good day to go for a swim in a beach.
A speed boat go by and seagull fly past. Boom camera pull back to crane shot and swoop over to bay where you see a more boat. Camera start fly all over look real cool helicopter camera.
The drama! It is so intense! Oh, but that is not all Hollywood. My dear sweet friend. I have a good things for ABC as well and Fox. But how about your number one show ABC? I did not LOTS my thoughts about it...
EXT. LOTS ISLAND - MID-AFTERNOONS
Him saw a hatch last night. I think inside a spaceship AREA 51!!!!!!!
Oh I so hungry Lock. I ate too many coconuts and the tree die!! How I stay so fat here? You know? Maybe hatch is full a candy?
I think its a dinosaur! This is dinosaur island and we better watch our butts.
I watch your butts all day gladly.
That is so not funny Hurfly!!! Lock tell him to shut up that is not nice thing for lady to hear I am so ROBOTS!
Yep it was robots all along guess what? Your robots two. We made a robot from you when you died and put your memory on a computer and put it in your robot body. That is project 19.
I not a robot I a ghost!!
I a robot that how I so fat all along.
Good gracious you monsters what you do?
Mysterious! As mysterious as my supplier. I cannot name supplier. All I say is buy now. I not offer this deal in one week when you desperate for a script. Then you come to Achmed Owlcat and ask for scripts and I say "sorry one million draclaps." Ha ha.
You think again, right? You not regret this decision, Hollywood.
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Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.