Genre: Entertainment Price: $0.99
In the near future, battlefields will not be populated by soldiers, but by squads of humanoid robots controlled remotely by specially trained humans shooting and stabbing each other in underground bunkers hundreds of miles away.
This app plays the opening title sequence from 1986's cousin-based sitcom Perfect Strangers... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Reference Price: Free
Keeps track of how much has time has passed since anyone at all has cared about ska, down to the nanosecond! Comes with bonus checkerboard wallpaper... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Utilities Price: $9.99
Adjusts the iPhone's internal restriction settings, allowing you to touch the screen as much as you'd like. Makes the screen flash with many colors to show you where the screen is so you don't miss. Reminds you to touch the screen when screen is not touched. Contacts the authorities and your loved ones to tell them something horrible has happened to you when the screen has not been touched in more than five minutes... Learn More In The App Store
William S. Sessions
Genre: Lifestyle Price: $0.99
Alerts you when you've made the FBI's Most Wanted list, emits a catchy jingle every time you move up a spot. Comes with special tracking software that tells you exactly where you are located at all times... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Productivity Price: $9.99
The hustle and bustle of this hectic world can make it all but impossible to enjoy the important things in life. Paper Football Game Scheduler lets you take advantage of what little free time you have by setting up paper football matches with friends, family and colleagues up to three years in advance. Our unique tag system allows you to designate the paper type (notebook, printer, construction) and field conditions (kitchen table, father's casket) ... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Education Price: Free
You wanna know more about brains well here you go. Everything you need to know about brains in this app. This app has all the brain information you need. Get facts like "brains might be orange" and "sometimes brains are different sizes" and "there is currently no item of clothing specifically for brains" ... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Utilities Price: $5.99
Input a portrait of Shakespeare, then watch in amazement as this app stamps the word "Shakespeare" across it. Also works if you don't watch, like if you close your eyes or turn the other way... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Navigation Price: $1.99
"Where's Bigfoot?" is probably the most overrated Bigfoot-related question floating around the Bigfootosphere. Well, now you can use the Bigfoot No-Show Tracker to figure out where he isn't. This interactive map of the globe is denoted with points of interest where fellow app users have reported not seeing Bigfoot... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Healthcare & Fitness Price: Free
Want to quit drugs? Activate this app, which simply displays the number 420 in a variety of ways, then show it to a fellow stoner. Observe his or her reaction of genuine amusement, as though something interesting or funny has been said. Repeat as necessary until you become adequately repulsed... Learn More In The App Store
The Bluth Company
Genre: News Price: $3.99
Good lord, this tooth is huge. What the heck? There are like three hundred adjectives that could be used to describe the bigness of this tooth, and this app lists them all. Warning: While running This Tooth's Too Big!, your battery will drain at twice the normal rate... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Travel Price: $0.99
Gauges how safe it is to apply black makeup to your entire body and work out in a given gym. Retrieves up-to-the-minute data from six national weather satellites, reducing the chance that rainfall will streak your... Learn More In The App Store
Genre: Social Networking Price: $1.99
No more scribbling on sweaty palms or stubborn shreds of toilet paper! Now you can keep all the phone numbers you come across in public bathrooms in one convenient database! Includes Smear Recognition technology, which snaps a photo of illegible stall writing and decode the phone number hidden within... Learn More In The App Store
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.