A briss is an important occasion for a Jewish family, during which a child is circumcised and given a Hebrew name. Naturally, such ceremonies put people in the mood to party, especially with a cheesy DJ with a laptop full of Paul Oakenfold MP3s! But KeysDAN doesn't only books brisses. Instead, he offers his services at bridal showers, pet celebrations ("opening our hearts to a new pet is a jubilant time"), and even "no reason, no season -- just party!"
A self-proclaimed "master of karaoke jams," KeysDAN also excels at futuristic Max Headroom-style stuttering. Truly this man wears many hats. ("Contrary to the common belief, the DJ does more than just push play. We are a personal assistant, reception coordinator, master of ceremonies, party host, dance instructor, and disc jockey. ") Also, he sells many hats with his face on them, along with similarly emblazoned buttons, magnets and framed tiles. Clearly KeysDAN can do just about anything, other than designing a Web site that isn't a complete laughingstock.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.