A briss is an important occasion for a Jewish family, during which a child is circumcised and given a Hebrew name. Naturally, such ceremonies put people in the mood to party, especially with a cheesy DJ with a laptop full of Paul Oakenfold MP3s! But KeysDAN doesn't only books brisses. Instead, he offers his services at bridal showers, pet celebrations ("opening our hearts to a new pet is a jubilant time"), and even "no reason, no season -- just party!"
A self-proclaimed "master of karaoke jams," KeysDAN also excels at futuristic Max Headroom-style stuttering. Truly this man wears many hats. ("Contrary to the common belief, the DJ does more than just push play. We are a personal assistant, reception coordinator, master of ceremonies, party host, dance instructor, and disc jockey. ") Also, he sells many hats with his face on them, along with similarly emblazoned buttons, magnets and framed tiles. Clearly KeysDAN can do just about anything, other than designing a Web site that isn't a complete laughingstock.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.