Thanks to Peter, my old pal from J-List, I've got a stack of insane Japanese magazines. The ads featured in this article come from the same issue of egg, a magazine that seems to be targeted at teenage girls that look like baseball gloves. The magazine instructs them to buy things and teaches them how to give blowjobs to green cartoon penises. Basically like Seventeen here in the United States. The ads featured in this article include a weight loss program with a lot of focus on pooping, some sort of foam you rub into your breasts to enlarge them, a curious take on Judaism, and more.

Weight Loss



As long as my girl doesn't weep meat.

Pretty nihilistic for a weight loss product.


As long as the food ghost doesn't start haunting my pants.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.