Stephen Cohen - ARTIST, submitted by Gerry. These days, ANYTHING is considered "art." Even this monstrosity.
I sacrificed pieces of myself to present Limping into the African Renaissance on the Dance Umbrella platforn a month ago. I swallowed my pride - together with a glass of goo from out of my arsehole. I hurt my spine doing acrobatics with a prosthetic leg, I burned myself dancing with fire-crackers, I flouted moral and legal restrictions, I shamed myself with a soundtrack of other people's abuse of me. I did it because I believe in my art and my art demands I eat myself ... even if I taste shit.
Please note that from this point on, I really despise art and will seek to destroy it whenever it is encountered.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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