Parents! Afraid to turn your back on your son or daughter? Do the stare, unblinking, at a bare wall? Do they obsessively draw eyeless figures or scribble strange symbols? Have your pets disappeared mysteriously? If you answered yes to any of these questions then we want to introduce you to the opportunity of a lifetime.

Call 888-WEE-FEAR if your son or daughter is horrifying

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.