Parents! Afraid to turn your back on your son or daughter? Do the stare, unblinking, at a bare wall? Do they obsessively draw eyeless figures or scribble strange symbols? Have your pets disappeared mysteriously? If you answered yes to any of these questions then we want to introduce you to the opportunity of a lifetime.

Call 888-WEE-FEAR if your son or daughter is horrifying

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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