INT. CASA DE GIAMATTI - NIGHT
Pan across sleeping bodies tangled in sheets. Branches ominously tap against a window. Glass breaks OC. PAUL GIAMATTI sits up in bed. Walks across bedroom and steps in vomit from his DIABETIC CAT.
Paul Giamatti curses and hops into kitchen, trying not to step on his vomit-covered foot. Turns on light. OTS REVEAL obese female INTRUDER dressed all in black except for "I <3 Paul Giamatti" Zazzle t-shirt.PAUL GIAMATTI
What the hell!?
Intruder panics and bolts, tearing open plastic grocery bag packed with looted Giamatti memorabilia - combs, toothbrushes, dirty laundry, etc. Paul Giamatti grabs his cordless phone, still hopping to not step in cat vomit, and tries to pursue the intruder and dial 911. He hops right onto the teeth of a brush and falls over.WOMAN
Paul!? Are you okay? What's going on?
A dazed Paul Giamatti looks up. PAN to bed-headed and wrapped in a sheet, the RUBENESQUE DENTAL HYGENIST from Episode 104 - Paul's Tartar.
CU on dropped phone.911 OPERATOR
911, what is your emergency?PAUL GIAMATTI
I'm Paul fucking Giamatti!CUT TO opening credits.
Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
Did anybody even want this sequel?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.