Chess, it is me. It is Raymondo. Hwonce more on your merry doorstep. It has been so long. My precious, beautiful babies, you remember? Beautiful little scamps and rascals. They sold out. Every hwone found a home!
Chess, it is fine news. But there is more! Oh, chess, Raymondo has moved hwon to bigger and bulkier things. I have gwon to the tropical paradise of Hwaii, land of volcano and jungle, and I have founded a paradise for my beautiful babies.
On the henchanted island of Raymondo is now Raymondo's Beautiful Baby Animal Pet-A-Zoo. A place for friends old and new to become hacquainted.
There is much to see at my Pet-A-Zoo. You can caress the animals as a group or you can have some alone time to touch and speak to the beautiful baby.
Begin your chourney at Hotel Raymondo's Sister, a hotel and bar and cabana and lounge run by my sweet baby older sister Margarita. This delicious hotel has nine floors, heach more succulent than the one before, prized by natives and tough enough for a Cherman Man. Have a seat? The wicker is fine.
Baby Ray's Lounge and Grill in the hotel is famed for its food source and drinks. Seven types of drinking can be done within. Food and sandwiches will delight your taste.
Henough! You can lounge around and eat like a gourmando on any planet. It is only here, on the henchanted island called Raymondo, that you can caress the nogging of my beautiful babies.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.