Here's E3 In Your Eye, Melonhead!
Well, I have arrived back home from my brief visit to e3. Read Something Awful's Official E3 Report (Part I) in today's episode of... uh... well...
If you're too damned stupid to click one of the above links, here's another one for you, bucko. Today's official Something Awful e3 coverage deals with Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Soldier of Fortune 2, Microsoft's Xbox, and the horrors that lie dormant in Kentia Hall. If you don't read this article, I'm fairly sure you'll get testicular cancer. Even if you're a woman.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.