Here's E3 In Your Eye, Melonhead!
Well, I have arrived back home from my brief visit to e3. Read Something Awful's Official E3 Report (Part I) in today's episode of... uh... well...
If you're too damned stupid to click one of the above links, here's another one for you, bucko. Today's official Something Awful e3 coverage deals with Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Soldier of Fortune 2, Microsoft's Xbox, and the horrors that lie dormant in Kentia Hall. If you don't read this article, I'm fairly sure you'll get testicular cancer. Even if you're a woman.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.