Here's E3 In Your Eye, Melonhead!
Well, I have arrived back home from my brief visit to e3. Read Something Awful's Official E3 Report (Part I) in today's episode of... uh... well...
If you're too damned stupid to click one of the above links, here's another one for you, bucko. Today's official Something Awful e3 coverage deals with Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Soldier of Fortune 2, Microsoft's Xbox, and the horrors that lie dormant in Kentia Hall. If you don't read this article, I'm fairly sure you'll get testicular cancer. Even if you're a woman.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.