Greetz to 4luc4rd, ~@Rose@~, +=+Alucard+=+, Alucard, and Tetsuo
The SomethingAwful Bagzsquad is pleased to announce our latest fan sub release "Psychic Aura Academy - Episode 46". We have packed this exciting episode full of the most accurate translation you can imagine and we did it weeks before the other translation crews! This is scientifically provable as them sucking huge dicks and us being completely awesome almost beyond belief. We know that you have been waiting nearly a day since the last episode of Psychic Aura Academy was released in #animebagz, but wait no more!
This Episode: Kujari finally tells Mimono that he has secret affections for her! A miscast spell is running wild through the academy and may actually interrupt him mid sentence and then he'll blush and she'll think he's getting fresh - which after a fashion he is - and then she'll punch him through a wall of lockers or turn him into a goat or something. Meanwhile a new student named Asoko has arrived at the academy and she is shy and sickly and secretly is attracted to Kujari who she keeps bumping into in the hall. Believe us when we tell you there will be at least FIVE SCENES where she falls over and he sees her panties and then she sees him staring and then they both get embarrassed and Kujari may or may not shoot blood comically from his nose. It is fresh and hilarious each time it happens! Meanwhile Kujari's robot maid is becoming jealous of Mimono and has taken to wearing increasingly fucking retarded costumes that show off her ten year old figure. There will probably be some situation where she is going to have sex with Kujari because her robot logic is different than our human logic, but he pussies out and explains why they can't have sex (hint: it ain't because she looks ten).
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN WAREZ, APPZ, GAMEZ, HACKZ, CRACKZ, FILEZ, DATAZ, LINKZ, SERIALZ, AND BAGZ?! WE THOUGHT SO. WE ARE YOUR NUMBER ONE SOURCE FOR ZERO DAY FILEZ!!!
Just Cracked BY Alucard, BlAcKwIzArD, Greasnin and the SomethingAwful Crew:
The Sims: Hot Dog Expansion
The Sims: Baby's Day Out Expansion
The Sims: Socks and Knit Sweaters Expansion
The Sims: Office Cannibals Expansion
Police Quest 3
Half Life 2: The Sorcerer's Apprentice
These are complete ISOAPS files so you will have to use Something Awful TOOLZ v4.5 which we have designed for your downloading and burning. This is a ten day demo and after ten days it will emit a constant squeal from your PC Speaker and if you try to crack it we will send SINE WAVES through your PC Speaker so suck on that Deborah! If you somehow do crack it we will know (you won't though it uses 400 bit encryption) and then we will send TRIANGLE WAVES causing you to be ANNOYED!
PLEASE SUPPORT SOMETHING AWFUL CREW BY VOTING US AS YOUR NUMBER ONE SOURCE OF FILEZ OR CLICKING ON OUR SPONSORS BANNERS AND LINKZ!
MaDWoLVES LAYER OF DOOM
The Computer Phreakars Guild TOP 750
HTML Writer's Guild BEST OF THE WEB 1996
HAY!! Is that not enough filez and appz for you?! Well why don't you try logging on to the Something Awful FileBagz Hub? We have over 100 Pintobytes being shared right now of the HOTTEST APPZ LIKE ADOBE AFTER EFFECTS!!!!!!!!! WEB EDIT PRO v3.0!!!!!!! Obey the rules or be kicked IMMEDIATELY.
Must share 8 gigabytes of porn (HOLE MOVIES NOT CLIPZ)
Must share 10 gigabytes of anime
Must share 20 gigabytes of FILEZ (HOT FILEZ COUNT AS DOUBLE GIGABYTES)
No Fatties (unless you have HOT FILEZ)
SA Pro-GamerGRANDMAis selling his Everquest characters and Diablo items so act now!
$750.00 [SABagz]Alucard666 - Lvl 2 Ranger w/ Force Hat, Rusty Short Sword, Cloth Armor, Old Meat Jerkin, Bracers of +2 Something, 23 Rat Pelts
$495.00 [SABagz]LauraKrofft - Lvl 1 Druid w/ Glass of Milk, 5 Rat Pelts, That PKing Book, Rusty Short Sword, 2 Wolf Meats
Diablo ITEMZ $70.00 Sling Stone
$120.00 Gourd of Eating
$2000.00 Car of Magic
$2899.00 +5 Car of Magic
$4000.00 +5 Car of Magic w/ Sword of Fish and Ebony Tease Bucket
$10000.00 208 Gold
$40000.00 8 Potions (assorted)
THE BOOK THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE!!!
Banned in 49 States and 2000 Countries!!! You have to see this to believe it, this book is called "THE SECRETS THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE!!" and we are selling it exclusively through our distro site Something Awful Dot Com. Not available on ebay or amazon, this incredible book is over 300 pages of secrets that will change your life. Expect to have your eyes opened about topics and secrets like:
Who are THEY?!
What are the aliens agendas?
What's hiding in Area 51?
What do they put in food?
Make Women Your Slaves?
Hitler's Magic Jet REVEALED?
The REAL deal with BACON?
And many more secrets! You need to order now but this is only available in BGZ format which is only viewable in our Something Awful TOOLZ program and you will need a key to unlock the GBZ file. You can write your congressman but that won't get you these secrets, only WE have the skinny! Do you remember how addicting Centipede was in the arcade? Think about that for a minute. Why was it addicting? Yeah, THEM.++++++++++++!!!!!!DIRECT DOWNLOAD OF THE DAY!!!!!!+++++++++++++++
Joke of the Day (Greetz to glasyalabolas)
Richard Dean Anderson walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, you know, we've got a drink named after you."
Richard Dean Anderson says, "Really? You have a drink called 'Richard Dean Anderson'"?
The bartender says, "Yes. Wait, no."
Remember Kids if you're fucking with Something Awful Bagzsquad then you're going to get the BUM RUSH. We have over thirty member in our Sims Online mob and we will FUCK YOU UP like we did KatieCutie. She wanted to talk shit about our MOB then we fucking blocked that bitches house up, pissed all over the front lawn and moved shit around. She knows RESPECT now. And we are always all over the HACKZ so we know way to fuck people up even worse than we did KatieCutrie. Like we have a HACK called "Disconnector" that will mess you up right when you're doing some important shit like rearranging paintings or moving lamps. BLAT BLAT!BABEZ OF THE WEEK - BRITNEY SPEARS REAL NUDES
NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW!
Running out of ink!? Our new hypnosis tapes are GUARANDTEED to fill your ink jet cartridge with any color you need. BUY NOW and you will receive a second tape that allows you to change the color of the ink ALREADY IN THE CARTRIDGE. How is this possible you ask?! You won't know until you unlock the power of your mind! The human brain is only operating at 5% of its capacity but we will teach you to use up to TEN PERCENT of your brain's UNLIMITED POTENTIAL.
You can not only just fill Ink Jet cartridges you can also use the amazing powers of hypnotism to fill:
Salt Shakers and Some Pepper Shakers
Barrels of Iodine
Employee Positions at Tobacconist
AND SEVEN MORE!!!!
Act now and we will include - free of additional charge - a power focus gem that allows you to centralize your chi magic during hypnosis. If you aren't 110% satisfied with our hypnosis program then you can return the unused portion for a refund and keep the gem as OUR GIFT TO YOU!!!
Important information on the most populous animal on earth and perhaps the universe.
You may have thought that a long dead author who was basically terrified of black people would be bad at the dozens. And you'd be right.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.