How about Mad Money Guy?
Keith watches Daily Show and he said that Mad Money Guy has been on there all last week being a dick. I didn't see that because I had to work second shift, but I have seen Mad Money before and that dude is a dick. He constantly assumes threat posture and he uses his voice to intimidate people. He is like "Sony Stock, I love it, buy it!" but he sounds really pissed and then he hits a button and you hear a frog ribbiting or motorboats or something.
I figure if I see this dude he will come at me with some violence, but I will be ready. I will use his momentum and weight to my advantage and execute a vertical elbow strike sequence. I will begin by inviting attack with a retreating stance, then execute a flawless cross strike feint that tricks him into expecting a right attack. Then I use my knee to trip him forward and pull on his left side. With my knee extending I draw his burly hellion face into my knee and then drop a titanium elbow into the back of his neck.
I will pull the strike of course because my elbow is capable of shattering double layer cement break boards which is like 15 times neck strength. Don't want to kill him, just teach him a lesson.
Arrivederci, Mad Money Guy. I'm downgrading you to don't wake up.
These sponges will make your hair WHITE and your teeth CURLY.
If you get these jokes, you KNOW you're smart!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.